The Power of the Pivot: Why Career Transitions are an Act of Self-Liberation for QTBIPOC
Last week, I celebrated the birthday of Brave Space Leadership – the biggest, most challenging, and most rewarding professional pivot I've ever made. This isn't a statement I make lightly. In 23 years of higher education leadership, pivoting was common. Sometimes those pivots were small, like adapting a class plan on the fly. Other times, they were immense, like the countless shifts my colleagues and I made during the first months of the COVID-19 pandemic. We quickly imagined and implemented dramatically different ways of engaging students, leading teams, and ensuring continuity of critical services. I often joked then that "pirouette" might have been a more apt term than pivot!
So, what made starting a business so much bigger and more personally consequential? Ultimately, it was an act of self-liberation as a queer person of color. Like many QTBIPOC individuals, I've grappled for most of my life with feeling like I don’t belong in many different spaces. While anyone can experience feelings of inadequacy, they are often more acute and compounded for QTBIPOC because of previous and current experiences of discrimination, which teach us that we are inferior and constrain our imaginations about what's possible.
This internal struggle was a clear barrier to pursuing my aspirations. I knew starting my own leadership development business was something I wanted, but it always seemed a distant goal – something for "later". Then I began formal coach training, which was experiential. We coached each other and ourselves. A powerful technique I learned was recognizing and addressing deferred dreams. Through this, I understood that starting my business was a dream deferred. The obstacles were all forms of fear, each significantly influenced by my experience as a queer person of color.
Fear of failure. I am a lifelong high-achiever, always pushing my limits. While this drive has served me well , it also has a shadow side: using achievement to cope with trauma and to feel "good enough". I worried this career move would brand me a failure , a "burnout" who couldn't hack it as a senior leader. There was a fear people would view my shift as a cop-out, making them less inclined to engage my services. This amplified my worry about betting on myself and losing. As a queer person of color, failures can be harder to recover from, and can feed into a narrative that people like me aren't skillful enough to help others lead powerfully, or valuable enough to make a living.
Fear of rejection. My inner critic constantly highlights my shortcomings, saying things like, "you haven't accomplished enough yet" or "you're not as good as the coaches and consultants you admire." Even more insidious are the ways internalized oppression weaves into this voice, leading to messages like, "Asian folks are so underrepresented in leadership positions, so sitting leaders won't want an Asian coach like you," and "You're way too visibly and proudly queer to be taken seriously.” These thoughts amplified the fear of rejection based not just on merit, but on fundamental aspects of my personhood.
Fear of uncertainty. When discussing brave spaces, I often say that growth happens when we push beyond our comfort zones into uncharted territory. But knowing this doesn't make it less daunting. Deferring my dream protected me from the uncertainty that would come with pursuing it. The status quo felt safer; I knew what to expect, how to navigate, and that a steady paycheck was assured.
This newfound clarity ignited a shift in perspective and led me to a well-known quote from Erin Hanson's poem:
“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask "What if I fall?"
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”
I realized I had been completely focused on the risks. I never allowed myself to truly examine my dream or seriously evaluate what it would take to bring it to life. This awareness marked a critical shift in my career. I started asking—and truly answering—more powerful questions of myself. Where once I saw only limitations, I began to imagine possibilities. Approaches and tools that helped me cultivate lasting energy and motivation included:
Clarifying my values. Values are the principles that guide our decisions. Getting clear about mine allowed me to critically evaluate the benefits of changing my career trajectory.
Developing a life vision. I engaged in an exercise of setting aside specific career goals and imagining myself in my ideal life. This helped me think holistically about what I wanted. I realized my dream of launching a business was much better aligned with this inspiring vision.
Inventorying my strengths and talents. I honed in on my true gifts – the ones that made me smile and in which I'd lose track of time. Exploring how to build a business focused on these strengths was essential to realizing my dream was attainable.
Engaging my network. I prize community and collaboration, yet I'd kept my dream mostly to myself. So, I leaned into connectedness. I talked with trusted friends, mentors, and others who had made big career transitions, focusing on those who could be good thought partners.
These resources helped me reject self-limiting beliefs and embrace a more empowering vision for my career. I chose to create the "dream job" I'd once only wished someone else would hire me for. That decision has paid off in countless ways. While running a business is no walk in the park, I couldn't be clearer that it's the right path for me, and I can't wait to see where it leads next.
My own major career pivot inspired me to partner with my dear friend and colleague T.J. Jourian to create Chrysalis, a powerful coaching program for QTBIPOC professionals facing career crossroads. It's a labor of love. Having navigated our own transitions, we are grateful to those who reminded us we are part of a long lineage of QTBIPOC communities with proud traditions of using creativity, resilience, and brilliance to thrive under adverse conditions. It's been a joy to support other QTBIPOC in accessing these same gifts to envision and successfully pursue careers that align with their values and bring deep satisfaction and joy. We are now accepting applications for the next Chrysalis cohort, taking flight this coming August. If interested, we'd love to hear from you.
Traveling Song - “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross
No, the Dolly Parton reference in my first blog post wasn't a one-off thing. Music moves me deeply, so I intend to include a "traveling song" with all of my entries on Travelogs. Today's tune is a classic queer anthem, one I've been singing a lot this Pride Month as a member of the Sacramento Gay Men's Chorus, and an incredibly motivating song about making a pivot.
I've got to show the world all that I wanna be
And all my abilities
There's so much more to me
Somehow, I'll have to make them just understand
I’ve got it well in hand
And, oh, how I have planned
I'm spreadin' love, there is no need to fear
And I just feel so good every time I hear:
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
